the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
