trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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