How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
