found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
