I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
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Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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