Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
