Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
