Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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