it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
