i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
