remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
