He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
