Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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