went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Can you bring me the toilet please
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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