I think my fart just growled at me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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