so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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