Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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