grandma shit on top of the toilet
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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