just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
