At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
