shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
