I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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