Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
