flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
