god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
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It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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