so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
