oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Oh god it's open bar.