And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.