I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
