I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
