Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
