my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
