The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
