He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
