U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize