If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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