so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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