Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
