Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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