i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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