im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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