I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
And then he peed in my hair
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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