im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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