I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
