Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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