Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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