i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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