he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
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After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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