you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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