Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
im six kinds of drunk right now
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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