NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
