I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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