What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
