so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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