PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
apparently the secret to your success is patron
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
