yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
