yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
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just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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