If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize