I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
