i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
