There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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